I hadn't realized how stressed I am until I came to realize how long it's taking me to feel inner calm. We are up in the Cabin for 4 days now. Usually, no matter how stressed I am when I get here it takes about 2 days to feel anew. That's why I came here now. But it's not working!
I don't know if Bernie's health is slipping away, or if he is depressed and/or defeated, or he just has gotten into horrible habits and just adopted this as he way of life. Either way, it sucks!!!! He doesn't do anything on is own, counting on me to do everything. He has absolutely no energy. His days and nights are mixed up and he doesn't seem to care about changing it. He never feels good which causes him to be cranky and too often nasty.
His quality of life is horrible. And whatever quality we had together is starting to feel like a memory.
And I am so worried about him that my insides are never calm. I took Xanax 2 times this week because I've had trouble sleeping at night.
Is there any hope things will get better??? What can I do to make it better???
I refuse to gt sick and take meds because of his choices but it is getting harder to be ok
And Bubby is waiting fir me at home!
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